I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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