I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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