what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
