Already got asked if we're dating
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your cock deserves a montage
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
