i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
