you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
