Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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