Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
