big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
