Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
