Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
