Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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