Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
