She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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