And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
