We got so high we made milksteak
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
