She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
