that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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