he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
