i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
