im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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