Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
