I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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