Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
