It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
