btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
