Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
