If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
