Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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