My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
