this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
