I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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