I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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