dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Text me some of your sweat
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
