I think I just saw someone hide a body.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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