Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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