so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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