Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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