i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
