u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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