You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
