can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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