just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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