the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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