I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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