I hate your face
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
