Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
