a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
