The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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