Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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