U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
